Sadly, we also found out that I was right, and we did have twins. Twin B was visible, but much smaller and with no heartbeat.
As sad as I am over the loss of yet another baby, I am glad that Twin A is doing so well, and I am thankful that s/he now has two angels to watch over him/her. It is indeed a bittersweet thing, especially after May 1st, the edd on the same gestation and day of the week as our first lost. And something even stranger, or more awesome (in the sense of awe-filling), is that in addition to unconsciously referring to "them" and "the babies," I had a dream that Saturday night that I had written off as nerves. I dreamt that we were having the u/s and that I saw a heartbeat and another empty sac. Strange, yes? Well, looking back at it, and at my calm acceptance while on the u/s table, I have to wonder if God wasn't preparing me for the news in his own way. Which only adds to the bittersweetness of the day. :)The worst news of the day wasn't about our angels or our baby, but about my step-mom, who is really much more of a mother to me than anything else. She has been battling Stage IV ovarian cancer for just over a year now, and on May 4th, she found out that her cancer has indeed spread to other places (metastasized to her breast, just outside her liver, her lymph nodes, and possibly her bladder) and she really doesn't have a lot of time left, at least according to her oncologist. He gave her 6 weeks to 6 months, and basically wrote her off with a recommendation to Hospice. Apparently, the only treatment left to her would likely make her sick as a dog, and also probably shorten her time here on earth.
She has chosen to not seek any more treatment and enjoy the time she has left, and as you can imagine, we are all devastated but supportive of her choice. She is determined to be here when the baby comes in December and with her stubbornness, and God's grace and mercy, it will happen. She is also determined that this baby is a girl, but we'll see about that when the next big u/s rolls around. ;)
So, between my step-mom and my grandmother (whose ovarian cancer has come back out of remission), I'm set to lose two of the most important women in my life sooner rather than later, and this child will be deprived of their wisdom and love here on earth. But I also know that there are two beautiful angels waiting to greet them on the other side, and lead them before the throne of God, and that is indeed a wonderful thing.
So, onwards to the survey:
Hard to believe it, but our little girl or guy in there is only the size of a raspberry right now. :) Pretty cool. :)
How far along? 8w2d (in the ninth week)Total weight gain/loss: down another pound, thank you nausea :(
Maternity clothes? The bloat continues, and the boobs are getting bigger, so it is still my JCP jeans and some shirts. :)
Stretch Marks?: Unfortunately yes, but not because of baby, but because I've been far too fluffy for far too long. :(
Sleep: Yup. I'm up 3-4 times a night to pee, but I end up falling asleep on the couch before bedtime anyways. :)
Best moment this week: Reaching 8 weeks! Over halfway done with the 1st Trimester!!!!
Food Cravings/Aversions: Soft Serve ice cream. :) And while some foods make me ill just thinking of them, I find I'm usually ill after eating rather than having straight up aversions. This is making for some very unpleasant moments after meals. :(
Gender: no idea. But I do keep referring to the baby as "them." I don't know if that is wishful thinking, or if my subconscious knows something I don't yet. ;)
Signs/Symptoms: Nausea, constipation, bloating, dizziness, cramping, fatigue
Labor Signs: God, no. :D
Belly Button in or out? Very much in. :D
What I miss: Thinking about "the babies"
What I am looking forward to: next week Tuesday and our final u/s with the RE (provided all goes well).
Weekly Wisdom: Don't get constipated if you can help it. :( Not a fun thing, at all. ;)
Milestones: Saw the heartbeat via u/s! Almost in the 3rd month!
That's it for now, and hopefully I'll remember to post at 9 weeks, maybe even with a bloat picture. ;) While my measurements haven't changed by more than an inch or two, I am definitely seeing some changes. ;)
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