Our Story (and it's a long one!)

I'm Joy, a 29 year old LPN, and my husband Ben is a 30 year old computer tech for a school system. We were married in Nov. 2006, and we've been actively trying to conceive since Dec. 2008. There's a lot more to our story than those few sentences, so I'll start at the beginning with how we met.

Our story starts in the fall of 2002 when a good friend of mine, Amy, and Ben's sister, Chrissy, met while they were both studying abroad in England. They became friends over the semester, no doubt with much alcohol involved, and decided one night that Ben and I should meet because we'd be perfect for each other. Little did they know, they were right!

So, after traveling to visit Chrissy in the summer of '03, and meeting Ben herself, Amy nagged me for about 6 months (so did her mom) before I finally gave in and emailed Ben on Jan 9 2004. Ben emailed me back 2 days later, and we graduated to emailing every day, and then IMing for hours. We had so much to talk about, and so much in common. It was hard to believe that we were about 600 miles apart, and yet felt so close.

Our first phone call was on Valentine's Day that year, and we talked so long that his cell phone battery died! From that day on, I had this feeling in the bottom of my stomach that this guy, whom I'd never seen, was the one I'd been waiting my whole life for.

We met in person for the first time in May '04, with his parents, sister, and my friend watching us. Awkward! But we had a great time that weekend, and I was so sad when I left to drive home. After that, we traded visits back and forth, and by Christmas, we had decided I would move myself and my cat to live with him. It was a hard decision to make, but I knew deep down it was the right one, and I have never regretted it.

So, we moved in together April '05, and I started LPN school shortly after that. We were engaged in Jan. '06, and married in Nov. after I graduated and took my LPN boards. We then started looking for a house, and moved into our lovely 1924 colonial in April '07. Things went smoothly for several months, and we had finally started to agree on having a baby sooner rather than later when our world was turned upside down.

On Feb. 9th, 2008, we found out the hard way that Ben had a brain aneurysm. And by the hard way, I mean that he collapsed in our bedroom, as in his eyes rolled back and he fell over backwards like a felled tree. Ben had a short seizure, and then lay very still, not breathing and turning a very plum shade of purple. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind, literally. My thoughts were racing around in my head like a trapped mouse, and all I could scream was "Oh please God" and "Don't you dare Benjamin Wayne, Don't you dare" (my husband's name).

But something (or someone if you believe like I do) took over and I started CPR and then called 911. When the EMTs got there (thankfully in a short time) he wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating, but they brought him back before loading him on the ambulance. And I had to make the worst call ever, I had to tell his parents what had happened and to meet me at the hospital.

So off we went, Ben in the back and me in another ambulance in my pjs, winter coat, and boots. (Looking back, it's a pretty funny mental picture) I know I was in shock, and it was pretty hard waiting in the waiting room for Ben's parents. The second thing we did when the ILs got to the ER was to pray. My MIL led us, and I learned that night what a Rock of Strength she is.

Thank you God for my MIL's strenth and for my FIL's cool head.

I remember quite a bit from that night, but what most sticks in my head was singing to my husband while he was in a coma in the ER (the 2nd ER, he was transferred to a big city hospital shortly after arriving at the 1st ER). I sang him two songs over and over, Amazing Grace and Grow Old Along with Me, which was our wedding song. Ben had all the odds against him, but he was, and is, a miracle. He made it through the night, and the next day the doctors started on their plans for surgery.

He was on a ventilator for a little over a week, had a tracheostomy and gastrotomy (Percutaneous EndoGastric Tube or PEG)done to help him breathe and eat. After about 2 weeks he started to wake up, and one of the first voluntary movements he made was to pucker his lips up to give me a kiss. I was so happy I thought my heart was going to burst.

Ben continued to improve, and was moved to a brain rehab center on March 6th, less than a month after his incident. That was on a Thursday, and they had him standing the following Monday. Ben took his first post-aneurysm steps that Wednesday, and from that point on, there was no stopping his recovery.

The rehab center he was at encouraged me and his parents to become part of his recovery, and in fact they allowed me to share a room with Ben. They gave us a private room with a private bathroom/shower, and I was there 24/7 for my husband. Ben's parents were there every day for his therapies (Physical, Occupational, and Speech for a total of 3 hrs/day), and to keep us company on the weekends.

I won't lie to you, there were days when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. But God kept me strong and blessed us with the miracle of Ben's recovery. If it wasn't for my ILs, I don't know what I would have done. They kept me together, and gave me time to get away from the situation without worrying about Ben while I was gone.

Ben came home Apr. 11, 2008, just over 2 months after his injury, and promptly went into outpatient therapy. He progressed wonderfully, and was back driving and to work by mid-June (part time). He's continued to get better from there, and aside from a hiccup with his gallbladder and some minor memory and tremor problems Ben has returned to normal.

Have I mentioned my husband is a miracle?

So, fast forward to the present. I have a new job that I love (working in a primary care office), Ben is back to work full time, and he passed the critical 1 year post-aneurysm mark with (almost) flying colors. We are so happy, even with the day to day things that are tedious and annoying, because we appreciate life more than ever before. Now we are hoping and praying for just one more blessing- a little one to call our own.

If you made it through that huge chunk of wordage without falling asleep, I thank you! And I hope you found our story at least a little bit interesting. Our story is truly a witness to the power of prayer, and proof that miracles happen. Thank you again for reading it, and God Bless You!